Thursday 1 December  2016; Everything Has Changed For Me Since Wednesday 30 November 2016

This is a good description of my current state of sexual arousal of what would appears to be causing factor to diminish my sexual arousal has actually increased my sexual arousal. For instance, a few minutes I ejaculated but I was feeling a strong to will be syncope of very soon and I was concerned for the time because „bed time“ isn’t until after 9 pm and one of the „snowstorm“ factor was I expected an increased in the sleepiness but I felt so sexual aroused I wasn’t concerned for the possibility of an earlier syncope, but because while I was masturbating at first it was difficult to concentrate on sexual imagery of having sex with Katharina Schuttler but I just before the ejaculation I imagined the literally funny sensations of Katharina’s cervix and virginal opening on the lower part of my penis and her body resting on my lap and my second man’s head inside Katharina’s birth chamber; since yesterday I have been sensing manifestation of the Holy Ghost while I am masturbating as if I am already married by God to Katharina Schuttler and after the ejaculation I felt the opposite of what I except: increased of youthful blessing from Jehovah God type of energy and what I would describe as deep romance for Katharina in meaning I sense overwhelming sexual compassion, a sexual feeling of everything is perfect as in a being in Heaven feeling and any little event exaggerates the emotions of heavenly compassion as if I sense humor or joy from simple incidents such as to feel heavenly joy of playing drums while it is very cold outside and snowing
I experienced something new for the first time of a reservsesal of conscious states of all my masturbating sessions; previously until today; at times of youthful sexual arousal I would experience relaxation of sexual tension feeling slightly drowsy but not the syncope symptoms of tiredness. The drummer playing metaphor of man’s masturbation is the fast drummer of heightened sexual arousal to cause a masturbation session and after being relaxed but today for the first time I experienced the opposite of feeling the syncope but still very sexually aroused and just before and after I sensed the sexual arousal of the metaphor of the drummer, or sleeping and then waking up instead of what I have known of the energetic drummer and then relaxation
About this picture I have reached my limit of reaching sexual excitement of masturbation in feeling the closes I am able to having physical sex or I am having peaks physical pleasure and satisfaction of how physical sex will be
I thought this picture was funny, the logo of the band Bethel Kids; my favorite song of Bethel Kids is „Little Drummer Boy“ especially the excersising dancing of seeing if I was able to dance like that, pressure may be released as back bones poping; especially the very stressed first vertebrae from the bottom of the spinal cord at the pressure locked location of the right side vertibrae lock towards the back
After I become physically ill from the sexual arousal this week, at that time; I felt sadness when I saw this picture because of how the right hand is positioned because near where Shane Harper has his thumb was near the vain of where the needle went in my vain for nourishment and a seditive medication. Also, I sense an accomplishment, as sense of losing my virginity in a manner of losing my fear of love making intimacy and I noticed when I saw the music video of „Lumineers“ Sleep On Floor, I sensed Katharina Schuttler and I now has that type of romantic friendship relationship but I didn’t fear the imitate relationship but I had a sort of fear of how much I have grown and I felt myself as a grown man who is ready to get married have sex and be in a romantic friendship relationship with Katharina Schuttler.

The sense of fear was noticing the authentic romantic feelings and comparing it to the 1980’s when in a young child who didn’t really understood the complexities nor the sexual maturity; of telling my mom I want to get married when I grew up and compared to the young feelings what I have expected of a grown man who is ready to get married, I felt an achievement of, so this is the reality of a romantic friendship relationship of being sexually mature of a child wouldn’t understand nor a child would understand the friendship characteristics of romantic love with is the primary reason of emotional bonding and sexual longing to be with Katharina Schuttler and to sense these blessing of to me felt as so many years, I was emotional as to cry and I sensed, finally it is time.

With all those old stereotypes of the Judin It „Men“ In Popular Media I Have Discovered Men Are More Sensitive Than Females In Men has deeper emotions especially in the subject of sexual arousal and physical sexual sensations which affects one’s conscious state and the body. Eventually every virgin man will become physical sick in their romantic bonding with their future wife and men need to go to the emergency room and get a needle in their vain of liquid medications of food nutrients and a seditive for the body pain all over the body and compared to the stupidity of the non existing stereotype aside from the suffering this eventual of getting sick in virgin men is pretty funny against a witness of all the stupidity of the non existing stereotype. The apparatus around Mose right wrist reminds me of the intravenous medications. Most of the time men don’t react to physical pain referring to this type of physical pain, yes, very minimal crying but the main effects are syncope and getting physically ill. I have discovered the reason men don’t cry frequently is because a constant sense of self confidence of feeling shockness because the pain is severely being cranial analized and it is this analization which is the shock emotions of why we don’t cry that frequent although we suffer much physical and emotional pain, the analysis of what is occurring during the death feeling arousal is very much worse than the physical pain and the emotional part of the pain was the reason I cried at that moments on the mat, one tear for both eyes and after three times, I had watery eyes after I vomited because of the emotions I felt by feeling the heavy dreaded death feelings. It is the emotional pain which is so bad one prefers to be completely unconscious than to experience the emotional pain and I asked God two times during that night of releasing me from the pain, first, I fell asleep then while I was sleeping I prayed again to God to end the pain and within seconds I had a syncope while sleeping and I felt no emotions or completely unconscious which is very rare is rare while sleeping.
The injection site in my vein for the medication I received during my few hours of hospitalisedsation on Wednesday November 30, 2016
This position of Isaac Slade is similar to the dancing of the Aryan Supremacist heterosexual men dancers in the music video of „Little Drummer Boy“ by Bethel Kids, except of the dancing in the „Little Drummer Boy“ video, one touches the ground with similar positions of feet and legs of this picture of Isaas Slade then will in a low ground position one moves your torso and the position looks very comfortable as if most of the spine will lose tension by poping.

I chose the Isaac Slade picture for main picture for this post because I didn’t find any pictures of the Aryan Supremacist heterosexual men dancers from the music video „Little Drummer Boy“ by Bethel Kids. I like the video for several reasons; I actually do feel physically relaxed by watching the dancing and sensing the tension in my back bones and knees being released and often my knees to pop and on an occasion a bone in my back. The other reason I wanted to write the symptom of what I experienced of what I experienced one or two days before I got sick by the desperate sexual arousal, of the Salmon of self killing of sexual arousal to fertilize eggs of female Salmon fishes; the physical symptom is a wider empty space between the buttocks muscles of an Aryan man dancer in the music video „Little Drummer Boy“ by Bethel Kids pictured on the left side of the music video. The rest of the Aryan Supremacist men has healthy sexual aroused butts in reference to the eventuality of getting physically sick by the metaphor of the self killing male Salmon fish, type of sexual arousal.

The Bethel Kids band