My Prayers For The Evening Of Monday 28 November 2016

I often laugh at this picture because I imagine the humor and irony of the non mankind inferior degenerate hermphrodite sadomaschists who don’t have any sexual feelings as the picture states to me; now you know how sensitive we Aryan men are of sex as often we are out in public as sleep walkers and funny in it appears as if we would syncope at any second.

I did had much of the chaos feelings before the syncope but I did fall asleep fast and I had a deep sleep for several hours, I awoke this morning before 5 am, after noon at the United Kingdom, almost 7 hours of sleep today. I started the Centering Prayer last evening and I noticed it helped me significantly with the emotional chaos because I was starting to feel the emotions related to the emotional chaos such as nervousness and agitation. I relaxed myself by repeating to myself the verse „seid stille und erkennt, das ich Gott bin.“ For the prayer itself, I responded I am here, and I am ready; then I commenced my discussion with Jehovah God. The evening are set aside for to for stating my complaints for God. I started the the emotional chaos of emotions of being sexually aroused and I told God, I sensed too much and if it can stop. Then I started to talk about the factors I am aware of that contributes to the emotional chaos; I asked for Jehovah God for Himself to revealed to me the sexual appeal by Katharina Schuttler towards me and I told God it is very difficult for me to understand and I love Katharina Schuttler so much but the lack of knowledge has stopped the bonding process I have with Katherine Schuttler and to remove the fear I have of Katharina Schuttler of being sexually intimate with her in my thoughts of imagery of having sex with Katharina Schuttler because I do feel much fear of the imagery of love making as the fear in response is don’t touch me I feel fear and I am not ready. I desire very much for that hindrance of fear to be removed from me. Then within 15 minutes with calmness I had a syncope and I remained asleep for several hours before a few seconds of waking up then falling asleep again. I then have dreams of being in Jehovah God’s presents specifically of how Katharina Schuttler views me; I dreamt I was surrounded by many demons but I heard worshiping of singing of the Angels in Heaven; I sensed a strong presence of God in myself of the verse I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I sensed romantic love for being a very strong man in God and through God I can do anything which God has predestined me to do, I didn’t sensed any specific sexual appeal of myself except for the feeling of my muscular strength is God’s power a physical manifestation of the verse I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I sensed the characteristics of holy pure innocence of romantic love portray on myself. My posting are set aside for thanksgiving towards Jehovah God; yesterday I had a wonderful dinner. I felt disappointed at look at the picture of Katharina Schuttler in the green blouse because I enjoy the delicate flesh which I sexually is ripped for conception or I strongly sense a mother to be sexiness of the delicate arms and chest of Katharina Schuttler in which I become severely aroused to immediately inpragnate Katharina Schuttler and to ripe off the green blouse but then the arousal stopped because I can’t sense anything yet sexual of my physical appearance as I noticed the picture of the Aryan man in the video of „Greater“ by Mercy Me is my counterpart picture of Katharina Schuttler pictured in the green blouse; and I imagines I have of Katharina Schuttler caressing my body, especially the muscular curves of the mid back is much frightening for me, because that mid section of the back where the back turns inwards has more sensitive nervous receptors compared to the rest of the back and that part of the back has very soft flesh similar to the softness of a cat’s fur of its underside. In the picture of Katharina Schuttler of the imagery of touching her I become happy because I sense her body is God’s award for me for my sexual satisfaction of Katharina Schuttler to belong to myself sexually, to conceive my children and to Katharina Schuttler to become a mother it is the strong sense I feel of Katharina Schuttler motherly sexual physical characteristics which drives an  uncontrollable sense of inpragnation, The urgency to inpragnate feels urgent as it is life to death urgency of symbolic feeling of the urgency to inpragnate and I do realize the life or death feeling of arousal to inpragnate has to do with the verses in Genesis but also the exact nature of the sperm itselves because the life of The sperm is only hours after sperm is released from the body. It is because of the life or death sense of urgent arousal in reference to the first sexual intercourse which I sense a complexity because I do know the breakage of the hymen will be very painful in which because of my concern for Katharina Schuttler I will lose my arousal because I sensed a loss of arousal now; but if the sexual arousal maintained itself to wear I can incert my penis to break the hymen I would become very stressed out about the pain Katharina Schuttler will feel because I don’t want Katharina Schuttler to feel pain. Stress out in Katharina Schuttler shouldn’t be feeling pain which will result in a shock of the sexual events of the incersion of my penis leading up to the pain of the breakage of the hymen; as I have a strong sense of what is happening? and what just happened? The picture of making love with Katherine Schuttler, I would like to tell her you are finally mine and I want to touch her skin because I sense strength of my own sexual arousal by the beautiful sexy, because the skin looks solid I sense self confidence in sexual desire of I sense which furthers the urgency to conceive a child. I want to kiss the lips of Katharina Schuttler and tell her you are the mother of my children, and caress with my hands and fingers of Katharina Schuttler arms and upper chest because there I sense the sexual arousal of strong fertility of a biological mother. That was so unique of Katharina Schuttler of which I never sensed that from any other woman at first I noticed the mother like physical characteristics of which is the reason I become sexually aroused in my perfectly Katharina Schuttler in the form of seeing the sexiness of her elegance with much self confidence in the music video „Mein Kleines Herz,“ one of my favorite sexy position of my perfect Katharina Schuttler was the sexy elegance of her Roman salut of which I didn’t recognized the sexual response until now but at that time I laughed at the sense of curiosity of feeling something unique of the unique manner of Katharina Schuttler Roman Salut and I heard Katharina Schuttler proposal of marriage but for about half a year I sensed what is communicated in the song „P.O.W.E.R.F.U.L“ but I sensed a too good to be true and a too fast reaction of  the lyric I haven’t fallen for any woman but your power brings me down; to mean it was my second man’s head to was insisting on a romantic relationship even though because I didn’t had knowledge of what was happening, I was emotionally slow to connect for about half a year of after I first saw the music video of „Mein Kleines Herz.“