1 Mose 3, 15. Setzen zwischen dir und der Frau und zwischen deinem Samen und ihrem Samen; er wird dir den Kopf zertreten, und du wirst ihn in die Ferse stechen. 16. Und zur Frau sprach er: Ich will dir viel Muhsal schaffen, wenn du schwanger wirst; unter muhen solls du Kinder gebaren. Und dein verlangen soll nach deinem Mann sein, aber er soll dein Herr sein. Sunday 20 November 2016; Another Occasion Of Sexually Overwhelmingness, Yesterday 

Yesterday, I had another occasion of being emotionally overwhelmed by sexual arousal but, this time, there were numerous factors to lead to the emotional overwhelmingness; the strong orgasm, I had Friday, did left me, emotionally weak. The other factors which lead to additional emotional stress was actually the deeping emotions of the developing strong relationship with Katharina Schuttler and I sense strong frustrated arousal, it was the frustrated arousal which was emotionally too strong for me. I noticed the deep confusion of the frustrated sexual arousal by of Garbage song of „Push It,“ „Magitized,“ „Stupid Girl.“ I did sense of minimal connection of consciousness but somehow I sense a strong sense of blockage of sharing of consciousness; then because of the emotional state of being frustrating sexual aroused, my mind wanted to explore, the female sexual arousal and specifically for the consciousness block and I became more frustrated by listening to songs of the sexual arousal of the YouTube video from men. The feelings were of sexual rage of being angered and sexual frustrated in not understand the female arousal feelings.I noticed more rage of being sexually angered when I finally comprehended the shame a woman feels, when she sense what I would describe as a rejection of her egg of being fertilized by sperm of the man she loves and based on the song „Dark Horse“ I sense a vague blaming game which is typical of the frustrated sexual arousal, I now sense at limited certain times of the miscarriage of love. The feelings of blame is too much complicated because it feels very natural in a sexual manner, of it is not purposely consciousness response as in reasonable detectuction. The emotions are very vague and this is totally new for me but I do sense a sexual entity is of blame and not the physical person of Katharina Schuttler. Because of the sexual blaming of frustrated angered rage and thinking of its origin, it leads to another form of being sexually aroused in being ready again to feeling as if I need to ejaculate again and for now, that is the maximum of the sexual arousals of being emotionally overwhelmed, and all those sexual arousals leaves me in a conscious state of feeling I need a consciousness escape such as to sleep but again the feeling of the desire of conscious escape feels natural and it is not much frightening until actually falling asleep. Actually I had experienced many other incidents of feeling a tired stress such as traveling to Europe or long slow long distance traveling on Amtrak or that entire day of traveling through the Bay area junk. In comparison of the consciousness block is the comparison of feeling exactly the same feelings of the emotions of my Aryan brothers, for instance the most emotional complex song of Aryan men is Sleeping At Last „Dark Horse“ and I sensed a natural inclination of; why does the female arousal has to feel so hurtful, in being harsh in sexual response of arousal because even though the emotions are complex in the song „Dark Horse“ I sense much comfort of the song of it is emotionally very relaxing and Ryan O’Neal’s voice is very comfortably relaxing but I do sense the sexual arousal for the rejection of an egg to be fertilized and even though it is obvious females do react in different sexual arousal I sense emotional hurt in wanting to explore the uncomprehendable sexual arousal of woman, there is the explanation of the conscious blockage of connection of the female arousal and I noticed the importance of the emotional comfort of Aryan men music in understanding sexual arousal plus being emotionally comforted as a brother would comfort his overly stressed brother, that is how the comfort feels. The pictures of Brandon Heath, I feel another sense of comfort as I sense an excitement of seeing Brandon Heath for the first time as a baby but already knowing him and the baby reaction is the reason of my unique laughter I have at seeing his picture and also at times I sense the emotional rage of anger because,  of the video of Jesus In Disguise of which I sense a connection to the uncomprehendable sexual arousal of the woman because of how detailed the video is in teaching sex.

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