I napped for about one hour, today, after my first very strong sexual experience but it was much more than I expected from actual future sex. I had a very strong sexual experience, today, by masturbation, for about one month, I have been naturally developed a thrusting of the pelvis to have sex; I was correct of a man does have to be physically flat on a bed during sex, because all the physical sensations are too much to handle; so basically, I discovered a swimming motion of the legs with places much pressure around the area around the base of the entire male genitalia, including the penis and testicles, the pressure is that if the weight of a female being on you and are having sex. The physical sensations were too much that I automatically lost my erection even though I still felt much arousal and eventually, within one hour of the strong masturbation, I automatically fell asleep and it was very strange, how I fell asleep, one does quickly loose consciousness, first you feel very sleepy, similarly to when one feels, right after a deep sleep, in the morning, it is at that moment, you noticed, eventually, you will automatically will loose consciousness and quickly fall asleep, one has to make plans because you know you won’t be able to control the moment of when you will fall asleep such as to drink water before resting. During loosing consciousness, the experience, itself is very strange of itself; the experience included in inability to the eyes to focus on objects, very eye sensitivity to light, one becomes very hot in temperature, even though I had the air conditioner on, it is very difficult even to lift one’s head off the bed because one felt very dizzy, and one has to rest for a few minutes before actually leaving the bed. Before the masturbation, I noticed a unique type of arousal, for instance, I become very angered and very sad that I couldn’t be with my racial brothers and continue the fun, I have with them on YouTube’s music video, it was strange because, I wasn’t being provoked in many form, I naturally felt a strong desire of I had to continue my fun with my racial brothers, but I was deeply aroused during the entire day. What I have noticed, is the process of eventually having sex is very slow and because of what happened today, I will need personal advice during the time, I do have sex, because I wouldn’t know for myself of my limits because if I haven’t stopped, it would be likely, I would simply loose consciousness and that would had been a stressful situation. Here, too, I have to be careful in protecting myself from the risk of losing consciousness after masturbating because I am homeless and I don’t have a bed to sleep in. Now, I will explain the physical sensations, for many minutes, I felt deep excitement of the discovery of the sex feeling of the weight around me, as if I were actually had physical sex with Katharina Schuttler, at first I was minimally out of breath, then I felt great pleasure and I become to breathe to heavy and I noticed an overwhelming nervousness, then I stopped for a few seconds masturbating, then after a few seconds of waiting, I felt a very strong and for the first time in my life, strong sexual arousal around the corona of my penis, then I started to masturbate, then the outer surface of the corona became very sensitive to the friction of the foreskin of masturbation and I felt a slightly painful sensations on the surface glands of the corona, at the same time of the slight pain on the corona, I then felt the urethra, in the corona felt very warm as a acid burning feeling and then I felt a difference of the actual space of the urethra in the corona had enlarged much, because I can feel the stretched urethra by my fingers, during that time, I sensed very deep sexual pleasure but not because of the burning sensations nor the other conditions of my penis but I felt overwhelming joy, a deep sense of being blessed by God, plus a very strong need to ejaculate. After, the afternoon’s masturbation, I become very sensitive to sound too, became I listened to Sleeping At Last Saturn. I felt to much sensations during this afternoon’s masturbation and my penis fall asleep, although I remained deeply aroused. In the process of losing consciousness was scary because one is aware of a fast process of losing consciousness, one heart races really fast, one fastly lost hearing ability while in the fast process of losing consciousness, so it is as you actually lose consciousness before falling asleep. Now, it is 2:33 am Saturday 22 October 2016, I tried masturbation with the fucking motions, this time the outcome was much different, I didn’t experienced the other physical sensations of the burning nor the urethra sensations but my body has automatically learned much because I had a slight orgasm because the body has learned of being overwhelmed by the sexual sensations, these sexual sessions are very fun!!! I don’t have any sense of disappointment in not having a strong flow of ejaculation nor did I felt emotionally satisfied nor do I feel deeply desperate in sexual arousal but I still feel a sense of sexual arousal because of crying but I don’t actually cry but I feel much stinging of the eyes, the slight crying is natural too, no emotional pressure nor sadness but a sense of finally accomplished the actual sex process and I have a strong sense of being sealed by the fucking motions, I learned today.