Wednesday 12 October 2016. I Felt Verse Process Of Becoming Traumatized Again

I finally recognized instigation, of expected „homosexuality“ by me to that Vancouver non and it caused what I sensed to be a nervous breakdown, I sense a lot of emotional confusion, much hurt and I couldn’t understand it. The severe trauma intensified by the malicious behavior of the sadomaschmists at the shelter by the sadomaschmists‘ behavior and that elderly Judin hermphrodite man touching my matt, as I felt he wanted to do that Vancouver junk again to me, then some guy said some killing non sense and again I had to relive the entire „homosexual“ trauma all over again, simply by the symbolism of the „homosexuality“ and my active memories of the entire Vancouver junk. The maximum of my trauma was when I realized, what emotional triggered my current stressed state that continue to I to become traumatized again, that was the movie the other night of a father was killed. I went to the ER, I went, I explained to the doctor that I was assaulted at Vancouver and the statement at the Lighthouse Mission here and I explained to the doctor I felt stress and panicky and I wanted some medicine for anxiety. I am currently at the ER and I am going to be released in a few minutes. The entire feeling of last night was started by a comment of „why I felt insulted“ for my penis being touched without my permission and then I was reminded the comment of Armand which I was felt feeling very confused.