God has blessed me and healed me from the trauma, I had experienced during these last several months and now, during my waking hours, I am constantly aroused for Katharina Schuttler, and later today, I will have a „miscarriage of love“ for her, because I feel a heavy feeling of arousal of life of a heavy burden. I have learned much about myself from God’s revelation to me. Virginity is strongly felt, God sets limits on one self in self control and severity of self respect. When, I look at my penis, now, I sense a nostalgic sense of innocence, I no longer belong for myself. The Biblical meaning of a virgin man lose of virginity as to „defile“ watermark by a female, has nothing to do with evilness but permanently loosing one’s childhood.